you can’t hate yourself into changing yourself

I think we've all been too hard on ourselves at some point in our lives. I know I have. I want to help guide you toward self-acceptance and love rather than hate and shame, especially if you're just starting your fitness journey.

Growing up, most of us were taught that tough love and negative feedback are character-building and motivating. In my experience, I've found that the opposite is true in the long run. I've seen the most progress when I realized that the way we speak to ourselves truly matters. There comes a point when you can't hate yourself anymore. You either have to forgive yourself and accept yourself as you are, or you'll be miserable forever. If you continue to hate yourself and tear yourself down, you'll never feel good enough, even if you reach the goal you thought would fix everything.

I'm a huge believer in self-acceptance. It doesn't have to start as unconditional love, although that's a great goal to strive for, it's more realistic to go from a place of hate to a place of acceptance.

Here are a few tips to help you move from self-hate to self-acceptance:

• Affirmations:

  • These might seem silly or pointless, but they work if you do them right. You need to say things you can believe and that align with who you are.

  • If you've never done affirmations before, start small and tailor them to yourself. For example, you might say, "I am x years old" or "I am a (gender)." Build trust in yourself by saying things that are already true, then start planting the seeds of things you want to believe about yourself

  • Remember, affirmations must be consistent! You can't say them for a few days and expect life-changing results. Affirmations are designed to rewire your brain and replace negative beliefs about yourself with positive and encouraging ones. You’re planting seeds in your mind and with the proper light, water, and care they will bloom into a beautiful garden :)

    • stay self-aware and catch yourself when those negative thoughts creep in, replace them with the positive affirmations you’ve created

• Journaling:

  • Journaling can be intimidating sometimes, but try not to overthink it. You can do it in whatever way feels right for you! (digital, paper, bullet points, voice memos, etc) soooo many options :)

  • Sometimes when we write it out or speak to ourselves we realize how ridiculous or unfair we sound in our heads. It can also help us get down to the root problem, which can lead to more lasting change

  • There are tons of amazing journal prompts online that can get you started!

• Moving your body:

  • I feel like this needs to be here because I am so passionate about the power of moving your body when it relates to your mental health. Now, if you are viewing exercise as a way to punish your body I highly encourage you to switch your perspective. View it as a way to show gratitude for your movement and appreciation for your body!

  • Find a form of movement that makes you feel confident and inspired. There are so many different forms and variations out there that you can try. One of my favourites is running it feels so freeing and I feel in my flow, it allows me to feel more connected with myself which, in turn, helps me appreciate how my body is capable of that activity.

• Books:

  • By reading other people’s experiences and journeys, books can be very eye-opening when it comes to a self-acceptance journey. They can also give you tangible habits you can build throughout your experience

  • Some of my favourites:

    • You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

    • The Mountain Is You by Brianna West

    • The Power Is Within You by Louise Hay

    • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

• Therapy:

  • If you're struggling with self-hate, talking to a therapist can help you understand the root of your negative feelings and develop strategies for coping with them.

I want to remind you that you are inherently worthy, no matter what. It doesn’t matter what you look like, who you are, or what you do you are worthy and you deserve your own love and acceptance. You never deserve to belittle yourself. We only have one life, don’t spend it hating yourself.